The Canada experience.

After being sick for a week in April I took my family for a road trip to Canada. The entire trip I suffered from illness but we experienced so much joy with our relatives. After receiving many healing prayers we attended the South Side Victory Church in Calgary. Here I listened to Pastor Craig offer up a sermon on leaps of faith and taking risks with the strength of faith to win personal battles. We got home 5 days ago. My health has improved much. Opportunities are knocking at my door. I have one more issue to overcome. I'm praying my faith will be strong enough to see me through this challenge so I may take on a new opportunity and bring blessings to my family and my community. I pray my Doctors bless me next week with the encouragement to move forward. No matter the outcome a purpose and direction will be achieved. This I already know. Because I have faith. 

A time to heal is a time for prayer.

Something personal. As I am a person with physical disabilities I have developed tools to succeed in business but sometimes they are not enough. My disability has unseen barriers. These include the need to either sit or stand or lay down often in order to manage discomfort. In addition circulatory and neurological issues often interfere with my being productive. It is for these reasons I have not returned to permanent full time or part time work. I have worked hard for nearly 11 years to attempt to return to the work force. I wish my issues would heal. I have the best Doctors. I just need a miracle. If my miracle never comes the life I currently live will continue to be acceptable. It is what we make of it. Not what it makes of us. 

Mary Lou Christians 80th Birthday.

Family update

My wife and kids finally got to try their luck at snow boarding last week. 

The boys did great. Our daughter had fun. The wife struggled some but really enjoyed watching her children enjoy the experience. 16 feet of snow at Mt Bachelor. We brought our Dog Riot on the long 5 hr drive. He enjoyed the snow also. I spent the day driving and buying coffee and coco to keep the family warm. We all had a really good time. 

Today we celebrate my Mothers 80th Birthday. Were looking forward to that. I am so fortunate to have been blessed with my Mothers love and support in all I ever did. She inspired me to have a big heart like hers. For that I am forever grateful. 

A new path!

 Over the last few weeks I have recovered from being lost to feeling confident my path is secure and strong. With renewal in our home and in my community service new comforting opportunities have been put before me. With newly painted walls and new flooring in our home and my new professional hobby I feel like I am on the right path again. As my health issues are being managed and monitored I can now focus on living my life in a way that is enjoyable and supportive for me and my family. 

Watching it fall apart. Praying for direction.

Being unable to control whats happening to my body is frustrating on so many levels. From years or patching up the injuries the pain returns only when I try to use my body and mind for prolonged periods of time. Feeling like a lamp

Post in my home that gets turned on and off only when needed. 

I find myself uninterested in much of the norm and striving to break out and do more. But my body can not keep up. Those arround me know my pains but they grow tired of my lack of ability to do more. 

I have never been one to sit idle until forced to by my injuries. So I refuse to accept or acknowledge my lack of ability and instead I push myself hard to try to regain the active life I once had. Trying to be accepted by my peers only to have them see my body fail me. The brain can no longer handle the stress of elevated blood pressure when I exert myself. It only feels dizzy and cloudy and the lights start to go out. So far I have only fallen once. But I have nearly blacked out on a dozen occasions in the last few weeks. I cry out to my wife, my family and my Doctor. The response is the same from all.  You need to slow down. Rest. How can I do that? It's not who I am! 

I see relationships starting to fall apart as fast as my health. 

I'm watching any chance to live a better life disappear. I feel like Im in the way. Maybe its time for me to set those relationships and hopes free? Maybe I need to walk my own path on my own? 

Tonight I pray God takes control of my destiny until I can see the path he wants me to walk. 

It never ends

It never ends. 1 day I go out for a lovely walk with the wife and our new pet Riot. The next a day shopping with the kids. All of a sudden without notice I colapse in a parking lot. My wife and children all witness this event. I'm sure it scared them. As they help me back to my feet I am dizzy and embarrased. I call my Doctor and of course his office is closed on Fridays. So I go to the ER just to make sure I am ok. They take my vitals. Bp is good. Pulse elevated but I am stable. The EKG looks good. A cat scan is performed Followed by a blood test. After a hr waiting for results I felt it was safe to say Im ok. If not Im guessing I would be chatting with a Doctor by now. I am told it may take as much as six hours to get my results. So I reply you have my phone number? The nurse says yes. I said call me if I'm going to die. Im going home to rest. I was shocked by the reply. She said I will call u if anything bad is discovered and my results will be sent to my Doctor. So home I went and I rested. I never did get a call from the nurse. So I guess I'm going to live. And that people is how great are new medical system works. If u stay at the hospital for 6 hours  your at risk of getting sick from all the flu patients. Maybe we would all be better off if we just don't bother going to the hospital when we are having health issues? Just stay home and rest and pray.