Nobody Really Understands!

When you take miracles from spiritual healing to Natures healing remedies to modern medicines to surgical intervention the bottom line is nobody really understands how much it hurts or how repeat sickness just drags on and makes us feel weaker.  

Time passes by so fast and you do what you can for yourself and others. But when does it ever get back to normal? When does the pain end? When does sickness return to just a seasonal cold or just the rare flu? Or just a simple cut, bruise or sprain? 

What happened to the spark that drives ambition, desire and the satisfaction of accomplishment? Having the ability to physically and emotionally celebrate in those moments of joyful experiences alone or with others has been taken and replaced with one full time goal. To overcome, to heal and to find a cure for it all so you can do it all again. But time keeps passing by while the many attempts to find a cure, a fix and to heal keep on. 

So where do we find joy? In the actions of our friends and their success? In the actions of our Sisters, Brothers or Parents? Or do the actions of our Children and their happy moments become ours? 

Whatever or wherever we can find it we must grab every drop because that is the prize that keeps us all motivated to go on. 

I have watched the spark grow dim in others eyes who were challenged like me. I have watched over time as they gave up. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to gain from all this but whatever it is I sure hope it has a happy ending while I'm still around to enjoy it and my spark keeps firing. Because I'm not done yet. There has to be more for me to do here and share and enjoy. It's time for my next miracle. 

My thoughts. 

Respectfully,

Douglas J Christian

Next Chapter of Reality.

My life continues to be interesting. I had to laugh the other day when I had a simple procedure to relieve some shoulder pain and they issued me Purple socks. When I looked twice I noticed they say Posey on them. Of all things to give a guy you would think they could at least gives us manly socks to wear. 

On another topic my wife is selling healthy beverages and we have both benefited from drinking them as well as her profits. Meanwhile when not supporting my wife in her business I'm busy being supportive to my father and my sisters. It's been hard with Mom being gone now. Some how I'm becoming more and more involved in my sisters lives since Mom left. My kids are busy. The Oldest Daphne is committing to a 1 year engagement. I love her so and I just don't know how to feel about it yet. Her groom to be seems like a nice young man but I'm just on the fence. It's going to take some time for me to get comfortable with this because I'm just too darn old fashioned and I'm not ready to let her go yet. Now our sons are working away at their jobs and nothing seems to bother them. As long as they have days off to play their games and sleep in they are happy. 

My Mother has passed away.

On the morning of August 19th 2015 my mother passed away at the Age of 81 after a valiant fight with pulmonary fibrosis. She was married to my father for 56 years. I spent the better part of the last 8 months of her life taking care of her needs with the help of my Father, wife and daughter. The last week was spent providing 24 hour care as her strength left her quickly. I was honored to do this for her. 

Throughout my mothers battle I had an idea of how she was feeling being in a wheelchair and needing the help of others daily as I had spent two years living in a bed and wheelchair myself.

But she had a confirmed fatal disease. It was not something I could fix for her. So I did the best I could providing her the best care at home until her last breath. 

My mother lived a full life. As a reporter, a stewardess and the Wife of a CIA agent. She worked as a Teacher and Principal  over seas and later for 24 years in the Rincon Valley School district. She enjoyed more adventures over seas with her husband as he joined the State Dept and was stationed in Oman and Germany. 

My mother was a very loving and forgiving woman. Traditional in faith practices as a Lutheran and she was very active in her Church. 

If I was to try to describe my mother in one word it would have to be Love. She was my everything and I look forward to the day I join her in heaven for eternity. 

What you do not know about me today.

When I wake do you see me? When I eat do you see me? My wife sees me wake with pain in my head and my entire body aches. My shoulder is often in huge pain as well as my back and legs. She offers me a gentle comforting touch as she knows there is no cure. 

When I eat I eat slowly. I eat soft foods mostly and I chew my food very well. You see often when my food reaches my stomach it does not go into the stomach as I have esophageal stricture caused by scaring from years of oral pain medication use after my crash. The food will back up and by the time I notice it it's too late. My esophagus will go into spasm as I choke. This is extremely painful. I will run to a bathroom and go through a painful process of being sick and trying to stay calm. I put nitro tablets under my tongue in hopes they will stop the spasm and I can swallow the food that is stuck. 

I have lived this nightmare of suffering for 13 years. The esophageal pain started 11 years ago and it gets worse over time. I have had my esophagus scoped 5 times to attempt to apply medication directly to the injury and to stretch the esophagus at the sphincter where it meets my stomach. The only medicine I can take to help keep the injury from being irritated from my own bodies acids is Prilosec. This is mildly effective. 

My wife has had to endure the drama of watching me suffer through these experiences. I never get a full nights sleep due to my head pains and all my orthopedic pains that wake me with night sweats. I can go a week without choking and then it happens without warning. As I write this I want to be clear the Stanford Pain Management Clinic staff has done so much to help reduce my pains and they continue to treat me. 

What you see when you look at me is me. But what you don't see is the pain I go thru each night and often when I eat or when I try to walk or stand for too long.

It is my faith that keeps me going. My wife being faithful and supportive and very understanding is truly a blessing from God. All I have to offer her in return is my love and support for her desires in this life. I wish I could do more. I know I'm smart enough. It's simply just that every day my physical ability and stamina are limited due to the traumatic injuries to my muscular skelital structure and my circulation and nervous systems, etc.  

When you see me I smile, laugh, talk and even walk short distances. To the person who does not know me that may look normal. But to me that's a huge accomplishment compared to where I was 13 years ago July 17th 2003. I have come a long way. From non moving in bed, to a wheelchair, to bilateral crutches, to a cane. God has blessed me with good doctors and much healing. I am grateful for the blessings I have received to date. However I never stop praying for more pain relief. 

I shared this so you may now better know about me today. Remember this. All of this could have been prevented had someone chose to not drink and do drugs and drive on July 17 2003 at 1:00 am. I would not have been hit and this blog would not exist. 

The Daily Journey

The time seems to drag on as I continue searching for ways to reach my many goals daily. Just as I think I have reached a goal be it to overcome a specific health issue or a project I'm dedicated to accomplishing, I find myself reaching to achieve more. 

Recently I made a decision to simply reach my goals and when I do to not add onto them. I did this because I feel I have come to a point in my life where I have achieved the goals I desired to and the ones I am working on are more than enough to keep me busy for a while. 

When the day comes my current goals have been reached I will make no more outside of those to stay happy and healthy for a while. It's time for me to spend some quality time relaxing and enjoying the life I have and appreciating the goals I have already accomplished. Life is a journey and I need to remember to enjoy it more. 

Not what expected.

I expected more than I received. I had two procedures at Stanford. One with no relief that will require a different procedure with hopes of good relief but it will require more prayer and annual care plus personal attention to maintain positive results. 

The other procedure was successful but I learned yesterday it will require more minimally invasive procedures to maintain positive results over the years. The good news is I will finally have the relief I desired. That's a blessing. 

Anxiously waiting

In a few days I will receive the first of 2 healing pain relieving procedures that will bring me much peace. One of which will be temporary and one that will be permanent. I will lose some feeling but that is ok. This is what I have prayed for over the last 11 1/2 years. The faithful patience I have held onto that Christ would provide for me this relief has been challenging at times. But I have been victorious every time.  

Stanford Pain Clinic

Here's How God Covered Me!

Prayers Answered. Wow. Today Dolly and I made another trip to Stanford to start the process of my new pain management treatment program. 

I received an injection in my Sternum Clavicular joint that was powerful. Much pain relief instantly. The Fellow kicked it off but the Senior Surgeon took over as it got close to my lung. 

The two pain management specialist I met with prior to my procedure were amazing also. The primary Doctor left the room frustrated after my intense exam. He was a little concerned because a prior surgeon I had met did not take me on as a patient to treat my back. He was also not happy my MRI results we ordered two weeks ago from two years ago were not there For him to review. When the Doctor came back in I was on the phone with the MRI records dept at another facility. He spoke with them nicely. Got my records. He then read them and ordered another MRI. 

As the Doctor had already reviewed all my other issues after a few more tests He leaned back, looked me in the eye and said. Douglas, You have been through a lot. I am a US Marine Trauma Doctor. I can tell you are stoic but you have been through a lot and I and my associates are going to help you. It's going to be a process. He told me it was time for me to work on my ability to cope with the process again and he assigned someone for that in his very office. He called in another Doctor who had already reviewed all my info. The new Doctor explained my future treatment program. It included a never before done on me block on my Right Scapula and if it works they will do a Laser procedure, "I forget the name of it" to the main nerve for my right shoulder. They will review my MRI of my back and decide on a program for that also. They put me on Nortriptyline for my nerve pain at a dose that increases each week over 6 weeks.  They kept me here for one more MRI in the morning. They discovered I can not feel cold on my right side from my shoulder down. I knew I was numb. This was new to me. They told my wife and I they are going to offer us all the support and care I need as well as some alternative treatments to help improve my quality of life. 

In the end of the day Three Doctors today told me that they were impressed with my attitude and how I have been able to overcome my challenges. It was emotional, uplifting and powerful. Dolly and I were holding back tears. Dolly thanked them and said good that now maybe I will get some pain relief, cures and sleep again. Of course I was in awe and thankful as well. 

One specific specialist in X-ray I confided in agreed with me that my faith was key. I told her we can not wear our faith in the inside always. We must shine in his glory for others to see no matter what's before us in life. 

In a Nut shell I could see Father God had clearly touched the hearts and minds of every Doctor I met with. Every staff member as well. They all were 100% committed to helping me and many of them knew more about my injuries and me then I even remembered or wanted to remember. 

In the cafe at Stanford the Director of Patient Diagnostics Administration and another Senior Hospital Administrator ??  were standing behind me in line. I introduced myself to them and told them my story of how I came to Stanford nearly 12 years ago and how appreciative I was of their staff and facilities for the role they have played in my life. They thanked me. We shook hands. As I walked away they came back to me and asked me again. What's your name? I told them of course. Maybe my story of appreciation will be shared? I just want Admin to know whatever they are doing its working because I'm happy. 

Prayers answered. It is obvious Father jumped all over my needs and he is seeing to it I am going to be ok. He gave me the best again. I return in 3 weeks and it's all going to continue to be amazing. To God be the Glory.  Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for allowing me to share with you my wonderful experience.  

Your brother in Christ. 

Doug

I forgot to mention Christmas.

As my family had a wonderful Christmas with friends and family we truly felt blessed. I barely recovered from being sick in time to enjoy it. 

My father had purchased a home across the street from ours a month prior and over Christmas my mother visited him as she currently lives in assisted living in Sonoma County. Christmas Day my mother announced she would be moving back in with my father. This was exciting news for us all. 

She had considered moving into another facility here in Redding but changed her mind and surprised us all. 

 My wife and daughter and son will provide much of my parents in home assistance. Having my parents near me again has truly got to be one of the best gifts I could have received and I did not even see it coming. Wow. 

My health is relatively stable now. Headaches, back pain and some pain in my sternum and clavicle but tolerable. My plan moving forward is to continue my physical therapy and hopefully reduce my weight. I'm now using a tens unit to control pain issues. I like it. 

SHP Ends 2014 accomplishing much.

Goodbye to 2014 and Hello 2015. We accomplished much in 2014. We came together as a community. We researched community village solutions for homelessness. Formed a vision. Developed and implemented a plan. Created our facebook page. Created our website. Elected a Board of Directors. Appointed committees chairs and recruited volunteers. Joined the Shasta County-City of Redding Homeless Continuum of Care. Opened an office on Pine Street. Opened a Bank account. Established a Corporation and a 501c3 nonprofit. Received donations. Held a fundraiser. Became a member of the Redding Chamber of Commerce. Held a Community Forum. Had constructive consulting meetings with local business owners and county and city officials. Developed collaborative relationships with individuals in the community, other organizations and agencies. Directed staff to research and write program outlines. And so much more. 

Yes we truly had a very productive 2014. As we say goodbye to 2014 we will never forget all the hard work and sacrifices made by our volunteers. Nor will we forget all the financial and material donations we received from our supporters. Together your help is what got us to this new year of 2015. We are one year closer to reaching our goal. Let's keep this positive community supported momentum going as we will need Land, Grants, Sponsorship & Donations to achieve our goals. On behalf of those without a home I Thank you all. You are truly Amazing!

Happy New Year!

Sincerely, 

Douglas J Christian

President

Shasta Humanity Project

Happy New Year! 2015 Toast.

Well some how we all made it thru 2014 and we all still have our attitudes and personalities. 

Ladies & Gentlemen, please lift up your glass and toast with me. 

May 2015 be a year of renewal & prosperity full of love, joy and peace for ourselves and for all those we share this big blue marble with. May the days be bright and cheery and the nights be calm and restful.  May no man, woman or child suffer from the lack of love, food or shelter. May all hearts and minds be filled with the compassionate loving creative & collaborative wisdom needed so this world may be a better place for us all. 
Happy New Year. 
Welcome 2015. 

Cheers.