living calm and peacefully.

Now is the time for me to rest. After so many years of challenges, recoveries and blessings the time for me to rest and soak in the blessings I've received has come. Through hard work and sacrifice my life has become one of comfort filled with peace, love and joy. There may be more to come to overcome and more victories and losses. Such is life. But as I move forward with a positive mind and faithful heart may blessings continue to find us all. 

3 months in US at Stanford for medical.

After my previous trip to the US for Radio frequency ablationon on my Lumbar I returned to the Philippines only for my pain to return as they missed the nerves on the right side. I spent most of 3 months in bed or in a recliner in pain before I returned to the US for more treatment in March. Unfortunately after a few days in the US I got Covid and then had to postpone my treatment and reschedule which pushed back my treatment another month making my two months stay a 3 month stay. During my evaluations at Stanford it was decided I needed 8 procedures over 4 weeks. First I had to do a month of physical therapy and walking a few miles a day to build the muscle I had lost while in bed for three months. This required me to take pain medication to cope. Something unavailable in the Philippines. This really helped but I can not take this regularly as it's addictive and not good for my liver. 

Next I did the phollowing procedures. 

1. Remove Stem Router from Rt Shoulder. It was no longer needed after 5 years and causing me discomfort. 

2. 1st of three trigger point injections procedures from my neck to my lumbar. 

3. 1dt of 2 Radio Frequency Ablationon on my Lumbar. 

4. 2nd Trigger Point Injection procedure.  

5. 2nd Radio Frequency Ablationon on my Lumbar. 

6. Extract wisdom tooth and a bone graph. 

7. 3rd Trigger Point Injection procedure.

8. The grand finale was 6 days in Stanford for Ketamine infusion therapy. This was uncomfortable but I had incredible nurses. One I nicknamed Ninja Nurse. 

My trip was definitely challenging due to securing housing as my stay was extended over a month. But I located a Airbnb that was a care home previously and had rooms and a bathroom available for disabled. The owner was also very helpful as she was a professional Caregiver and she often gave me rides to and from the hospital. I definitely was surrounded by Angels.  

On May 5th I arrived back in the Philippines and on the 8th I resumed my daily walks. 2.1 miles and I get a mile more in by the end of the day. My goal now is to lose much weight to reduce the pressure on my back. I lost 20 lbs walking my 2nd month in the US. The 3rd month I maintained the weigh loss as I was resting from my procedures throughout the month and only walking a mile plus a day when I walked. 

So now I'm Pain free and yesterday I got my oral surgery stitches out. So things are looking good moving forward. 

My entire time back in the US was a little stressful. The politics, crime, homeless issues and mentally ill issues was very common to see. I noticed people were not as friendly also. So I can't tell you how relieved I was when I landed back in Davao. All the stress and anxiety of what I had to deal with in the US was gone and I found myself very happy. I'm not sure how much longer I'll stay here in the Philippines this time but if I had to decide today I'd say hopefully for years. 

Back in US in February 2023

My time back in the US after the Covid lockdowns and flight restrictions. I was finally able to get some medical done back in July and August and return to the Philippines.

I returned to the US in February in much pain. I had plans to take care of some more pressing health issues in February but I got Covid within a few days of my arrival to Palo Alto Calif. I had just completed all my evaluations and got my clearances to get things taken care of. But with my health issue everything got pushed out several weeks longer than what was planned. So I got a strong pain relief rx to hold me over that I could not get back in the Philippines when I was there. That was a life saver. But now I'm in a holding pattern until March 31st. At that time I’ll start 4 weeks of procedures to resolve my issues at hand. 

I decided to use this time to exercise more and focus more on a healthy diet. Even with the rain I find a way to endure it and get out and exercise when it's not so heavy. I've basically gone on a total improve my health venture. I lost 12 lbs the first month. im shooting for another 12 this month. I hope to keep that trend going. 

Thankfully after all these years I have a few friends to offer support that are still in California. Im down to just a single family member. The few others are on their own trip and that's ok. Everyone has their own shit to deal with I guess. 

I'm now at the age where it's most important to make sure I have people I can trust and depend on should I ever need assistance as I am disabled. I have a Home and a Partner who is very kind. She’s amazing. My insurances are in place and solid. I'll need to get a long term health policy when I return to the Philippines. I honestly dont know if I should make the Philippines a long term plan or shoot back to the US full time in the near future? My concern about life in the US full time is the cost of living. Aside from that it does offer the healthcare I need. Life is good but it's definitely challenging at times.  Each day is a Gift. Eat taco's.

Life in the Philippines is tuff. 09-20-20

Here I am since Covid lockdown started in Davao City. What I thought would be a fun experience and not to challenging has been full of challenges when It comes to my healthcare. I'm surving ok. Wife is happy. Finding my needed meds has not been dificult or too costly. The real challenge is getting the Maintenance procedures I require to manage my pain. Radio Frequency Ablation and Ketomine Infusion are not available to me here and I'm due for both. But getting my treatments in March should be ok as we expect to be able to fly back to SFO by then. We had planned much sooner but due to Covid our flights home were canceled. The lockdown is about over here but we're still required to wear masks and in some places face shields. The thing I find most dificult in this country is no sidewalks and few places have ramps for handicapped access. I don't tolerate heat well so unless I'm poolside or somewhere with air-conditioning or a fan I'm sweating buckeys. For me I sweat more than normal folks due to my inability to regulate my body heat naturally since the my injuries effected both that part of my brain the controls my bodys natural response to cope  also I find It's dificult for me to walk on uneven ground and rocky roads or dirt pathways but I'm managing. My advice to other disabled folks whom desire to travel to 3rd world countries is don't unless you are willing to battle the challenges and suffer the consequences. All medical services here require cash. If you don't have a good support network of friends and or family you will find it very dificult to feel safe and comfortable. I am blessed for the most part but I do look forward to getting back to the states to get my pain management treatments and general health check up and meds. 

Nov 21 2019 Philippines

Fat and happy in Catalunan Grande in the Philippines.

After spending the last year recovering from the loss of my father in January 2019 and fine tuning my care plan at Stanford in Emeryville and Redwood City, I finally got the courage to take a leap of faith. After realizing I have now had a total of 70 operations and procedures to date Its time for me to try to live a better quality of life.

Recently my wife Dolly and I decided to move out of California knowing I may be required to travel far to return to Stanford if the care I required was not available wherever we decided to retire too. We looked at every state in the nation and we traveled accross several looking seriously at options. In the end we decided on Treasure Valley Idaho. We loved how clean it was and the affordable cost of living as well as the low crime. But just prior to our move we decided to return to my wife's Homeland in the Southern Philippines and look at retirement options there as well. Once we did we both fell in love with the idea and found a home that would more than meet our needs and we made the move. Now here for 3 months were starting to settle in. We both made a trip back to the States to get a few more items we felt we needed here and to visit our newly born first Grandson. 

My Wife has invested in and opened a few small businesses in hopes to create a income for herself. 

So how has this all effected my health? Well the best news is much of my pain issues were addressed before we moved even though I was hospitalized a few times over the last years. But since we moved here to the Philippines my pain has been minimal. It may be the tropical climate. Unfortunately, I have developed an infection in my lungs that I am having a hell of a time beating. It's mild now but it was very bad for a few weeks. I'm still on antibiotics and a rescue inhaler as I continue to fight this issue. I'm bloated from the steroids. I hope I can beat this and lose some serious weight soon. 

What's next? Well I'm scheduled to return to the US on Dec 12th. If I do make this trip I most likely will see my Doctor's for a few pain management procedures for my back and possibly remove a implant from my shoulders as I no longer need it. After, I will hire a crew to load our things into a uhaul that are still in our home in the bay area. I will see to it these things make it to storage in Treasure Valley Idaho so that when we do decide to find a 2nd home there everything will already be there. I will then fly back to the Philippines to relax and spend some quality time with my wife and family. At some point we will get a second home in Idaho to use as a vacation home and if I do need a higher level of medical care as time goes on I will most likely move back to the States and spend my final years in Idaho as a free man in a great country. 

Aug 2018 it continues

I have been unable to log in and post on our blog for some time now. I am now up to 58 procedures. Wow. I have had 4 radio frequency pulse Procedures with great success to my back. No back pain sure is a blessing. I also had a block done on my rt shoulder and a stim router implant on my rt shoulder last week. That works good also. I turn it on and my rt shoulder pain is gone. I have developed a large swollen lymphnode in my right armpit since my surgery last week. If it does not go away in a week I will have to get a ultrasound to try to identify what is causing this. Praying.

Prior to my implant I was hospitalized as I had a migraine with left side numbness. Thankfully I recovered well. But only after cat scans. MRI's and a spinal tap. While in the hospital I was given some meds. Shortly after I started taking them I developed tremors. A week after being discharged I tried not taking the med they gave me to prevent future migraines and my tremors stopped within 12 hours. I had taken topomac for 14 1/2 years. I had been off it for 6 months. I never would have thought when I was put back on it I would develop tremors. What a rotten side effect surprise.

Tomorrow morning Dolly will take me to Stanford to start my first Lidocaine infusion therapy. If I respond well I will continue this therapy monthly. This is to help reduce my chronic pain. It is like pushing a reset button calming my nerves and their hyper sensitivity due to 15 years of pain. So we are praying for a successful outcome.

My pain in my sternum and right clavicle has grown much over the last 6 months. Last month I had ultrasound guided injections to try to reduce my pain but it was not successful. So I am hopefull the Lidocaine infusion therapy will work to calm and reduce that pain. If it does I will be the happiest guy in the world.

Dolly and I have a planned Vacation to Idaho and Calgary Canada. If all goes well. We leave next week.

A year since my last post

My blogger app crashed so I have been unable to make new entries until now. My time has been spent resting and not being very active. I had my 50th procedure early in 2017. I had to have a nerve block in my lumbar region. I also had a surgery to my rt clavicle. A little of it was removed as it was very arthritic and brittle and causing me much pain. This being a cadaver bone that's been in place for 15 years now along with some synthetic bonding material. After the procedure I began feeling Bette for 7 months. Then the pain started to return in my clavicle at the sternum clavicular joint and my rt shoulder. I have gone without pain medication all this time until this month. I need to return to the Stanford pain management center and ask about getting another radio frequency ablation soon. I was told I could get these as needed as often as every 4 months. However it's not been in my budget to travel and get this done over the last year. The migraines and neck pain have also returned due to the stress I'm sure. I have had little ability to do much and my body is feeling the stress but my positive attitude and faith keep me going. I have had little to no interest in hanging with friends and simply find my joy being with my family. I have spent much time visiting with my Dad on short vacations or simply taking him to do his grocery shopping or out for a meal. Dolly has been a trooper being supportive of me while I have struggled to be much of a husband due to my recurring health issues in June of 2017 I had to go on high blood pressure medication and go through a cardio stress test and more. I had developed a tachacardic heart rate so they gave me a few pills for that.

Some good news. My daughters husband Kenneth has joined us in Dec 2017 as he finally got his Immigration visa  approved. He's fun to have around and made our daughter happy. Looks like we have big plans for 2018 but I will share more as that develops later. My lovely wife Dolly has Ben sick with this years flu bug. Some how I got lucky and I only got mildly sick. Dolly is on the mend so I hope to spend more quality time with her soon. Our boys moved to LA and they are still there a year later. Wow. That's it for now. Ciao.

Last week Hat Trick!

The week started at SOAR with an MRI of my Sternum and Rt Clavicle Joint. Followed by an injection to put my arthritic pain to sleep as this 13 year old reconstructed joint needs TLC from time to time. 

After this I was off to Stanford to be evaluated and receive a updated digestive health plan in hopes of avoiding surgical intervention. That went better than expected. 

The week ended at SOAR with a MRI of my Rt knee that left me with the news of bone on bone on the medial aspect and a option for a patella release and debriment procedure. As my symptoms are not constant I chose to hold off for now. 

I feel I now have a good grasp of my current health needs and my current treatment plan is meeting my needs. That's a big achievement in itself. For now I will focus on my diet and my family more. It's time for me to live and enjoy life and all Gods blessings more. 

My Angel and my health

Another trip where my Angel and I turned a procedure into a adventure. After several stressful weeks taking care of my father we were finally able to break free for a few days to get my colonoscopy completed. It went well. I had to have a little extra care due to my health background so I had it done at Stanford. After we spent a day resting on the Monterey coast watching the whales. Unfortunately I returned to Stanford 48 hours after my procedure only to find out I will need to have more testing as my abdomen is very quiet. I was given a scrip for some meds and a strict diet and told to return on the 11th to see the specialist. 

We then traveled to SOAR medical to see DR. Dillingham to check up on my sternum and clavicle and shoulder. All was great but my sternum so I'm getting another MRI to see how stable the reconstructed joint is and what's causing the pinching pain I get? Possible bone spur. My Angel has been amazing through this all. I am very grateful we got to spend a quality afternoon and full day on the beatiful sunny Monterey coast together. 

Rt Shoulder - Clavicle Spurs removed July 5th.

Resting after surgery 

2 days Post op. it's ugly but it's done. 

Dr. Dillingham went in while I was sedated but awake. He identified multiple bone spurs and removed them from my rt clavicle near my rt shoulder. I had to move my arm during the procedure as he felt around inside to identify and locate  additional bone spurs. Check that off my bucket list. 42 operations. I pray this will be my last but knowing I have more issues at my sternum clavicular joint I may be back in again to do some more work later. ***sigh*** I just want to be done with this constant repair and physical therapy program. 

A Bone Spur and Arthritis & ???

It's been 6 weeks of PT since Shoulder Surgery. Pain started to get bad two weeks ago. I got X-rays last Monday. Discovered a bone is growing in my shoulder and it hurts. So now another Surgery is scheduled for July 5th to remove it. Doctor Dillingham said some of my pain is from my neck injury again. 

Dr. Dillingham is going to review my Stanford procedures and start looking at doing another study to identify the exact areas of trauma causing my pain and develop a plan. The goal we agree is to keep my pain under control to where I do not depend on medication to manage it. 

May 10th Right Shoulder Surgery

Sick of doing this but it's done. Had a few small issues in the rotator and arthritis thanks to trauma injuries so a little debri-ment and cleaning to smooth things up. It's been 5 days and I feel much better already. I'm hurting a little but the arms out of the sling and moving well. I expect to be strong and doing well in a month or two. I really don't know what to expect regarding the arthritis? I'm just going to do my best to take care of my body and not reinjure it. Proper diet and safe modified exercises. 

My wife is busy working her business these days. My daughters wedding is just a few months away. Everything seems so crazy. I feel like I got robbed of my career and I want back in but It's not going to happen. Something else is about to happen. A revelation or a gift or something obvious. I'm not sure. But it's going to happen. I just have to wait and see what's next. Whatever it is I pray it's a blessing that helps me move forward. 

Small set back

3 weeks after my procedure I took a little trip to the coast and camped in my van. It was lovely. But I started getting a new pain in the end of my rt clavicle and the top of my rt shoulder. A week later as it had gotten worse and I was only making it hurt more trying to do my physical therapy I visited my orthopedist Dr. Dillingham at SOAR in Tedwood city. He ordered a MRI. Over the next few weeks my pain got worse and I started having pain in my upper thigh that later moved to my calves and got so bad I could not walk for a few minutes when I got out of bed or a chair. I was also no have tremors over my entire upper body. I went to my primary doctor who put me on Ativan and ordered blood labs. Like Magic the Ativan worked and my leg pain and tremors stopped. I also started treating my shoulder pain with a lidocaine patch. I guess I'm so use to being in pain my not treating it allowed my body to go into shock causing me the issues with my legs and the tremors. I should have known better. Now I'm waiting to get a call to go see Dr. Dillingham and find out what he has planned for my rt shoulder pain. At least I'm stable and this two shall pass. 

40th operation celebration

I had my 40th succesful operation at Stanford on Feb 15th. Before the procedure I was told a different technique than what was planned would be required to reach the nerve causing my pain in my right arm and shoulder. The continuous radiofrequency of the nerve worked. My pain is 90% gone but I'm still healing so I expect it to get better. Unfortunately I lost some mobility of my right arm and more than 70% of the strength. 

My back has healed up nicely from my prior RF procedure and I have no pain there now. I still need my cane to walk as I have no feeling in my lower left leg and I have some weakness in my rt hip and balance issues. 

I'm going to celebrate not having to take pain medication. For the first time in nearly 13 years my pain is under control. I now have a way to manage it with RF procedures should it return. My plan is to be very careful and protect my injuries by not doing anything that may inflame them. Walk gently. Smile big. Thank you Stanford Pain Management Center. 

My pre Valentine update.

As Valentine's Day nears I awake again riding my rollercoaster of pain. My loving wife gets me coffee and something for my pain. I have had wonderful progress in Physical Therapy as of late. I also have had some success with my treatments to better control my pain at Stanford over the last year. I have my 40th procedure scheduled for this following Wednesday. Cryo ablation on my rt shoulder to reduce that pain. After this I may be good for up to a year before I need any more procedures outside of anything that can be accomplished in a office visit. 

It took just over 12 1/2 years to get me to a point to where my pain will not be the number 1 thing on my mind 24-7. I can not wait until this Wednesday and this is done. 

Moving forward I will need to remember to be careful as the injuries are still there and the pain has only been killed at the nerves. I will use this time in physical therapy to strengthen my legs, arms and my core as I have not been able to due to my pain in the past. 

To think I was 37 when this started and now I'm 51. I am scared to take chances that may set me back and I'm scared that if I don't I may miss out on the opportunities and experiences that I truly have a desire for. 

Everything that could possibly be done has been done. What happens in my future is a mystery. 

Wishful Thinking

Ahh, three key factors in life we all may like to achieve and maintain. But for me I have made Health a priority. Without health it's hard to earn $ any significant wealth. 

In my new physical therapy program I have found some success but I have also been met with hard limitations that I have yet to overcome. 

I leave for a consult and preop at Stanford tomorrow. I have a radio frequency ablation procedure scheduled for my rt shoulder. One more shot at pain management. 

I continue to think of ways I may possibly be more productive on a regular bases. But when I test my ability to function for more than an hour In a capacity that would produce I find myself falling short physically. I consulted with several doctors on this and none of them can offer me a cure for it. All they offer is ways for me to manage my issues so I can be a little more comfortable. 

Productivity comes in many shapes and sizes. For now mine comes in a voice and my short writings.

Nobody Really Understands!

When you take miracles from spiritual healing to Natures healing remedies to modern medicines to surgical intervention the bottom line is nobody really understands how much it hurts or how repeat sickness just drags on and makes us feel weaker.  

Time passes by so fast and you do what you can for yourself and others. But when does it ever get back to normal? When does the pain end? When does sickness return to just a seasonal cold or just the rare flu? Or just a simple cut, bruise or sprain? 

What happened to the spark that drives ambition, desire and the satisfaction of accomplishment? Having the ability to physically and emotionally celebrate in those moments of joyful experiences alone or with others has been taken and replaced with one full time goal. To overcome, to heal and to find a cure for it all so you can do it all again. But time keeps passing by while the many attempts to find a cure, a fix and to heal keep on. 

So where do we find joy? In the actions of our friends and their success? In the actions of our Sisters, Brothers or Parents? Or do the actions of our Children and their happy moments become ours? 

Whatever or wherever we can find it we must grab every drop because that is the prize that keeps us all motivated to go on. 

I have watched the spark grow dim in others eyes who were challenged like me. I have watched over time as they gave up. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to gain from all this but whatever it is I sure hope it has a happy ending while I'm still around to enjoy it and my spark keeps firing. Because I'm not done yet. There has to be more for me to do here and share and enjoy. It's time for my next miracle. 

My thoughts. 

Respectfully,

Douglas J Christian

Next Chapter of Reality.

My life continues to be interesting. I had to laugh the other day when I had a simple procedure to relieve some shoulder pain and they issued me Purple socks. When I looked twice I noticed they say Posey on them. Of all things to give a guy you would think they could at least gives us manly socks to wear. 

On another topic my wife is selling healthy beverages and we have both benefited from drinking them as well as her profits. Meanwhile when not supporting my wife in her business I'm busy being supportive to my father and my sisters. It's been hard with Mom being gone now. Some how I'm becoming more and more involved in my sisters lives since Mom left. My kids are busy. The Oldest Daphne is committing to a 1 year engagement. I love her so and I just don't know how to feel about it yet. Her groom to be seems like a nice young man but I'm just on the fence. It's going to take some time for me to get comfortable with this because I'm just too darn old fashioned and I'm not ready to let her go yet. Now our sons are working away at their jobs and nothing seems to bother them. As long as they have days off to play their games and sleep in they are happy. 

My Mother has passed away.

On the morning of August 19th 2015 my mother passed away at the Age of 81 after a valiant fight with pulmonary fibrosis. She was married to my father for 56 years. I spent the better part of the last 8 months of her life taking care of her needs with the help of my Father, wife and daughter. The last week was spent providing 24 hour care as her strength left her quickly. I was honored to do this for her. 

Throughout my mothers battle I had an idea of how she was feeling being in a wheelchair and needing the help of others daily as I had spent two years living in a bed and wheelchair myself.

But she had a confirmed fatal disease. It was not something I could fix for her. So I did the best I could providing her the best care at home until her last breath. 

My mother lived a full life. As a reporter, a stewardess and the Wife of a CIA agent. She worked as a Teacher and Principal  over seas and later for 24 years in the Rincon Valley School district. She enjoyed more adventures over seas with her husband as he joined the State Dept and was stationed in Oman and Germany. 

My mother was a very loving and forgiving woman. Traditional in faith practices as a Lutheran and she was very active in her Church. 

If I was to try to describe my mother in one word it would have to be Love. She was my everything and I look forward to the day I join her in heaven for eternity. 

What you do not know about me today.

When I wake do you see me? When I eat do you see me? My wife sees me wake with pain in my head and my entire body aches. My shoulder is often in huge pain as well as my back and legs. She offers me a gentle comforting touch as she knows there is no cure. 

When I eat I eat slowly. I eat soft foods mostly and I chew my food very well. You see often when my food reaches my stomach it does not go into the stomach as I have esophageal stricture caused by scaring from years of oral pain medication use after my crash. The food will back up and by the time I notice it it's too late. My esophagus will go into spasm as I choke. This is extremely painful. I will run to a bathroom and go through a painful process of being sick and trying to stay calm. I put nitro tablets under my tongue in hopes they will stop the spasm and I can swallow the food that is stuck. 

I have lived this nightmare of suffering for 13 years. The esophageal pain started 11 years ago and it gets worse over time. I have had my esophagus scoped 5 times to attempt to apply medication directly to the injury and to stretch the esophagus at the sphincter where it meets my stomach. The only medicine I can take to help keep the injury from being irritated from my own bodies acids is Prilosec. This is mildly effective. 

My wife has had to endure the drama of watching me suffer through these experiences. I never get a full nights sleep due to my head pains and all my orthopedic pains that wake me with night sweats. I can go a week without choking and then it happens without warning. As I write this I want to be clear the Stanford Pain Management Clinic staff has done so much to help reduce my pains and they continue to treat me. 

What you see when you look at me is me. But what you don't see is the pain I go thru each night and often when I eat or when I try to walk or stand for too long.

It is my faith that keeps me going. My wife being faithful and supportive and very understanding is truly a blessing from God. All I have to offer her in return is my love and support for her desires in this life. I wish I could do more. I know I'm smart enough. It's simply just that every day my physical ability and stamina are limited due to the traumatic injuries to my muscular skelital structure and my circulation and nervous systems, etc.  

When you see me I smile, laugh, talk and even walk short distances. To the person who does not know me that may look normal. But to me that's a huge accomplishment compared to where I was 13 years ago July 17th 2003. I have come a long way. From non moving in bed, to a wheelchair, to bilateral crutches, to a cane. God has blessed me with good doctors and much healing. I am grateful for the blessings I have received to date. However I never stop praying for more pain relief. 

I shared this so you may now better know about me today. Remember this. All of this could have been prevented had someone chose to not drink and do drugs and drive on July 17 2003 at 1:00 am. I would not have been hit and this blog would not exist.